I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
