Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
jump out the window naked night went bad
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
