I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
