Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
