My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
this is an emotional support booty call
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize