i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
