Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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