he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
