yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize