I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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