I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
