In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Randomize
