i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
