Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize