you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
