In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
