Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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