dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
