So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
