Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize