I bet he comes in French.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
