He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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