Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
