Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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