You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
