Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
