He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize