Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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