I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
