i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
How's work?
Spinning.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
