I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
