Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
