Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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