I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
