no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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