so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
