Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
