We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
