i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
