ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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