I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
