ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize