i just made my gag reflex go away.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
