Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
