you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize