nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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