What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
