Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
