I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
