would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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