saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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