HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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