ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize