I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
