Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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