airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
