And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
