you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
