the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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