I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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